I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
