Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize