I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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