i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
