The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
