I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
