I will die if light touches me.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
