he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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