I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
