I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
