Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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