what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
