it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
