she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
