Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
