my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
