so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
