one two three fourrrrnication!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it's not cheating when I paid for it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
