you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
What a dumb baby whore.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Omg I joined a choir last night...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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