"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
