spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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