the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
