Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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