Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
