Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
