Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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