who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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