Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
