exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
