i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The power of my boobs compel you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
