Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's never too late to be topless.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize