he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
