i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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