That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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