last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
