Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
