I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
