All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize