I want to walk on stilts...naked
Girls should come with a carfax report
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
