just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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