so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
