one two three fourrrrnication!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
