Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize