I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
