in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
