You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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