omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
now i know why i became what i already was.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
