yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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