Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
