Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
