After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Oh god it's open bar.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
