I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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