She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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