her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
