he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
