lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
