If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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