I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
