I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Small penises have feelings too.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
